Manners dont mean I am a Pushover.

May 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I have been the quintessential polite woman, stifling my thoughts, swallowing my voice. With a deep seated fear of not being safe or belonging Being kicked out of the tribe.

Polite and Powerful makes a statement. The Baccarat Museum Private Dining Room

When I was a kid I literally learned to swallow my laughter, because I was mocked to the point of wounding for being a loud laugher. Fortunately time, and me coming to my senses has freed my laughter. I remember when I would get upset with my family and try to yell. My ex would tell me I couldn’t yell if I tried. Yes the yelling would get stuck in my throat, it would hurt. I would get so mad that I would cry or laugh out of fear. Even now that pain settles in my heart. Even though I am not the girl or woman I once was. I am braver and more vulnerable. I still have the emotional scarring. I am still trapped in my story. Fortunately it gets easier to own the pain and have compassion for my self, and for those teachers in my life.

I can still laugh, and I do so with great gusto. I enjoy the release and reverberation of the sound of laughter. Like music. I can see an opera of laughs. In fact someone I know delivers laughs for a living. I love that. I also love the idea of letting go of the need to yell, or to be a bitch.

I am learning that the most powerful voice of all is the one of knowing. Standing in who I am, and asking and expecting for what I want. I am not a pushover, because I am polite. It’s not about blaming anyone else, or stewing in fear that I wont get my turn. It’s about showing up to be my polite self without doing a 360 Jekyll and hide dance. Learning to say no, letting go of blaming the world and being assertive without being a bitch. Bringing the people around me into my love circle. Making my own nest, my personal Le Chic Cocoon.

What about you?  What are you doing to leave the bitch at the door and open up your arms to more of the good stuff?   To learn more sign up for my free gift on the right.

 

Joie de Vivre

Jennifer Duchene

Filed Under: Chic Cocoons, Lifestyle, The Polite Woman's Guide Tagged With: , , , , ,

Design a room you love to live in

May 5, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If your home isn”t designed in alignment with who you are, it can be difficult to produce your best work or feel good about coming home.

To challenge and to create a certain expectation of ourselves, we need a visual reminder.  Having a space that speaks to you, is a very powerful tool for success.

What are you stopping yourself from achieving precisely because you have not valued where you are sitting?    You can’t hear your own voice in your own room, if you are drowning in clutter or blandness.

Clients who cant seem to get their rooms to sing in harmony, call me in to lift the vibration in their space.

Living Room before towards fireplace

On a recent makeover adventure, these clients had an challenging living room to tame.    The fireplace was in the walkway from front door to kitchen.   The windows were hiding behind the couch.  The focal point, like in so many rooms, was the tv. In fact the room was crowded with tables and “fill ins”  These clients want more living energy and less of the uncomfortable living room blues.

Living Room After towards fireplace

They don’t watch much tv but they do want to be able to view it in comfort and enjoy the fireplace. They like having people over, which is a challenge in this space.

Using my Character Code® knowledge I know they both are activists and while she has more cheerleader he tends to be more of a scholar.

We plunge into moving the room around.

I get a kick out of seeing the budding decorators come out, as they dive in with gusto.   The collaboration is wonderful.   We push, pull, place and I explore their home to discover treasures. The couch finds a new home opposite the window. I move in a fabulous heirloom lamp.  Art and artifacts are placed strategically to strengthen the voice and personality of the homeowners.

 

The husband gets out a hammer and happily hangs the pictures as I tell him where to place them. I love the mix that both brings out the jewel tones in the rug and warms the room.  Pewter finds adds a soft luster.

Before towards window

When we are done my clients and I are delighted.  The room smiles with warmth and feels three times larger. They stand together, gazing in at this newly discovered space.  They cannot believe how wonderful their room is.

Suddenly they are calling me into every room in the house to give suggestions.

After Living room

Something magical happens when you give your surroundings your voice.   What about you?  Does you room speak in your language?

Joie de Vivre,

 

Jennifer

Filed Under: Decorating Ideas for your home, Lifestyle, Personal Empowerment, The Polite Woman's Guide Tagged With: , , , , , ,

A Polite Woman’s Voice

April 26, 2012 By 1 Comment

 

As a Polite woman the expression raise your voice used to make me think about shouting.  Don’t raise your voice to me.  Wasn’t that the cry of the adults?  The tool that shut us up, shut us down, boxed us in.

 

The room we lived in then, had no room for self expression.

 

Now it makes my soul do the shimmy when I think about voices raised in song.  In a song of our stories.   The very idea of lifting our voices to speak out, to be heard – to band together.

This springs forth Personality, our own unique voice.   I think we express ourselves in so many ways.  Our voice is not just when we speak, also when we leap, and how we eat,  and where we sit.

 

 

A woman's chair

 

As women we are often encouraged to speak softly.  To whisper as we walk. Swishing along in silence, making life easy.   Well I am all for life being easy, but it actually is only easy if we do lift our voices to speak out for ourselves.  When we express the steel beneath the softness.  When we claim our joy and sing it out.

 

 

Being silent or acquiescent does not serve easy.  You would think it would. But the opposite is true.  Human nature and the irony of life gives to those who open up their arms to abundance.   We are rewarded by speaking up and out, standing for what we believe.    I think the ultimate confidence, the raised voice, is the polite woman who never apologizes needlessly.  Knowing your Character Code® also adds a layer of elan to encourage a life well lived.  For the right reasons.

 

What piece of furniture or clothing speaks your language in your life?  I would love to hear.    What is the song you are singing?   Share your voice and use your polite edge to reel us in.

 

Joie de Vivre,

Jennifer 

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Personal Empowerment, The Polite Woman's Guide Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Confidence and Character

April 12, 2012 By 2 Comments

Last year at the end of May, I was physically separating from my husband, my child and my old life.  A painful and necessary step on my road.   I had been invited to an event by my dear friend Franziska San Pedro.  Who was flying in from Texas to attend.

Franziska and me enjoying a real life meeting

 

I was torn.  Exhausted. Freaked out and frazzled.  Wanting to dig down deep into my being and find the answer to the how of all the why’s clogging my brain.   I had committed to attend, so I left my family to the joys of moving, leaving the packing of all those past things and journeyed to what seemed the outer world.  Pleasant Hill.    What I left with after two full days, was an answer.

I signed up to learn more and to be more.  The two days was with Brandy Mychals.
Her Character Code™ System had clicked within.  Recognizing people from how they show up was a mind blowing concept.  More than that it honors each person for being exactly who they are.

Roll forward  a few months and I sign up to be a Character Code™ Coach.  I can teach people about this amazing system.  A method that allows one to sell without being salesy.   You decide who you want to play with, you get the tools to unlock the codes and master your business.  I think our businesses or careers really are a vehicle for how we choose to express our lives.

I knew that what I had learned from Brandy Mychals and her Character Code™ System gave me wings.   Do you ever get into a place where you keep doing what doesnt work, longing for some-one to rescue you?  Get you focused?   Running a business or running a life can be a mystery.  Oh yes there are piles of resources, but what if you found a system that gave you the clues you needed right now to fire up your knowledge and soul?

Brandy Mychals, Jennifer Duchene & Vinca Heart.

I have grown enormously this past year with all my mentors, teachers and fellow travelers.  Soon I will be launching my new programs,  hosting my first summit, facing my lions.   It has been a year of change.  Still far from perfect, however being on the journey gives me way more confidence than waiting to leave.   Having confidence really does change one’s life in magical ways.

If you to discover how to be wildly successful doing what you love, here is your chance.  Sign up (with my link)  for this live webinar with Brandy Mychals.

What I have discovered is that its not so much knowing shoulds, as understanding your why and when.  Leverage your power and grasp the horns of opportunity, before the beast disappears in the mist.

What has given you power to be seen? Are you wildly successful and loving it?  Share in a comment below.

Joie de Vivre

Jennifer.

Filed Under: Personal Empowerment, The Polite Woman's Guide Tagged With: , , , , ,
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